This weekend I spent most of my time at the FAEposium, a Radical Faerie conference, urban gathering and performance in San Francisco. Some new friends are in from out of town for the month, and we provided their first entrance into the Radical Faerie world.
Today my partner went with me to the conference. We attended a workshop in the afternoon entitled No Men Us: Women Voices in Radical Faerie. It was set up as a fishbowl, a circle within a circle, with men holding space and women conversing. It was fierce.
There were only two women there to begin with, the presenter and my partner. The presenter was very bummed, and eventually two other women came in near the half-way point. It was amazing hearing the conversations of voices that have been marginalized within Radical Faerie culture. As my partner reminded me this evening, gay men would not be doing the work of Spirit if it were not for women -- historically, it was women's work that gay men took on being lumped in with.
During the workshop, the pregnancy came up, and my partner let the cat out of the bag that we had conceived the child-to-be on the Wolf Creek Land, during this past Beltaine, as an intentional act. There was a big reaction, and a palpable wave moved through the room. I do not know what the repercussions of letting this secret out may be, but I pray that positive can come from it. I'm only just now beginning to see the magical repercussions of what we did are -- being that the fetus is a homunculus, a Moonchild, specifically an avatar for a Queer divinity that we invoked into the ritual act of conception, and that any such act occuring on Nomenus land did so with the blessing of the Ancestors of that land (or else it would not have come to pass). Lily talked about how she wanted the child to be raised in Faerie culture. I couldn't agree more. We do not know if this is the first time a child was conceived on the Land, and few children have been raised in Faerie.
It was also powerful to hear similar narratives about being, in a lot of ways, invisible in Faerie community -- as a fatty, I feel much the same way. There is a lot of lookism and fatphobia in the Faerie culture, and subject-SUBJECT sexuality is a myth when it comes to the reality of its enactment in many ways. I think a lot of my work in Rad Fae is to bring this up, to encourage queens to look at their stuff, and to heal this. I have a lot of work, myself, around being able to feel sexually safe with gay men in a sacred context, and not an anathema to sex in that space. Tonight I witnessed a beautiful performance that called to me in a sexual way, that re-spawned the desire to connect with men in a sacred-sexual context. I desire it to the point of terror.
This tribe of misfits is Home and I look forward to raising my child among these beautiful freaky faeries.
So mote it be.